It’s traditional at this time of year for bloggers throughout the world to warn their readers of anticipated slow-downs in their rates of posting, as they head off to spend time with family and friends instead of continuing to produce the content that their audiences have come to expect, and in so many cases, to actually depend on. When you think of it, it’s sad that so many people have to suffer during this otherwise joyful season because of the self-centredness of a comparative few. Sad, but also a little outrageous. What do they assume their readers will do? Wait patiently? Do they really think that people will just sit there staring at the same two-week-old post and not say something? What kind of selfish buggers are they, anyway?
What I came here to say was that unlike every other blog on the planet, we here at sans everything
will guarantee [Please rephrase; we can’t commit to this without liability risk. Thx. – legal dpt] will do everything in our power to ensure that our postings continue throughout the holiday season at the same high frequency as during the rest of the year. We have already informed our families that we won’t be seeing them until January at the earliest, and we pledge to continue sitting at our keyboards diligently creating content so that none of you, our dear readers, will lack for thought-provoking posts to ruminate on during the holidays, as you spend time with your own families and friends, drinking eggnog, eating roast turkey, and telling ribald stories of your summer holidays in Istanbul. Yeah, that’s right. Having fun, while we slave away at less than minimum wage, our eyes slowly weakening in the dim and flickering glare of our monitors, our fingers turning into palsied claws, our teeth loosening from lack of vitamin C, the ship’s cat looking at us with more interest, hunger, and — God help us — confidence with every passing day.
Happy holidays, you selfish #%#*&^… [Rewrite w new ending, more upbeat. – ed].